How do you know it’s Rock Bottom

When you hit rock bottom do you know that’s what it is ?

Do you know its the lowest point and something needs to be done?

I have recently been diagnosed with depression and panic attacks. At my worst I don’t think I knew how bad I was or how bad things had got. Only Looking back to I see just how depressed I had become. Only looking back to I see how look I had got. Which makes me think that although I am starting to feel a little better how depressed am I still. I didn’t see it before so maybe I don’t see it now maybe in another month I will still be thinking the same. So how will I know if I slip how will I know that its been 10 days in bed not the 2 or 3 day I thought it had been.

With Fibromyalgia my life can be very isolated anyway so why keep track of how many days its been since I spoke to someone or saw someone. Why count the days of not doing something?

I am now journalling I keep track of the things I’m doing. Trying to keep a check on my days and how I’m doing. This hopefully means it wont be so long between posts.


Have you marked yourself down?

Have you marked yourself down?

Do you feel like people don’t treat you with the respect you deserve?

Is this because you have Mark down your self worth ?

Have you lost yourself in your Illness are you now just now a list of symptoms.When you go to see the Doctor he wants to know what’s new. What new symptom do you have that you need to bother them with. With friends it’s what’s new not because they want to know your new symptom because you may have done something that doesn’t relate to being ill.

When illness take over your life and you don’t know where to begin getting it back !

This is not living this is exciting!

Where do we start ? shall we start with all the things you used to do and enjoy. Make a list then the reason why you no longer do it. Is it a good reason or is it just an excuse you tell your self? why do we really stop doing the things we once loved, is it because it takes us longer or because we cant do it in the same way as we used to.

What is the really reason or it it just that you don’t value yourself enough to take more time or effort? Then why would other people value you ?

When The Bottom Falls Out of Your World

I have been struggling with my mood since breaking my arm Oct 14 and the loss of function in it, this is on top of my problems with the fibromyalgia. After feeling very low since my last surgery in march this year and with the encouragement of my youngest and my Ex (we are now friends)  I went to the doctors and have been diagnosed with depression. These two people were the only ones that could see how low I had got. After telling family and friends I have found most of  the people I thought would be there for me are no where to be seen.

Some old dear friends have been great and I have even managed to get up and dressed to see them when they visit, as panic attacks are a regular thing at the moment.

People don’t seem to understand much about depression. Is this because people are to busy or they don’t want to know, or is it that they think spending time with you will bring them down?

Why when you feel so down already are there so few around to help?