As I’m laying here awake worrying about why yesterday was so hard I’m reminded of what I said to my counselling ‘that you can only have a setback if you have already moved forward’.
Although yesterday was a hard and my anxiety was high as was my stress level, I did get through it. I may well have had a evening of tears and high stress levels I found a way though.
I had to remember to breath and remind myself ‘ this too shall pass’. It’s a very good thing to remember at that point anxiety takes over, that no matter how hard it seems’ this too shall pass’.
We need to remember whatever life throws at us we can survive it. We have a great track record of survival at the moment.
Well we are now half way through January and life carries on. I’m taking small steps forward in my recovery but have been hit by new health problems.
This life feels like a never ending merry-go-round. When I get over one thing something else hits. New medication often leads to new side effects and the circle continues.
How come we live in a world where we can put a person in space but we can’t find cures and treatments for many illnesses.
This is from AA it is the Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
When you have lived your life seeing things from one angle it is hard to come to terms with changing our viewpoint. You start to question your reality. As many of you who read my blog will know over the past year my world has been turned upside down. People that I thought would help me through this hell were no where to be seen but people I thought would have run from the situation and not looked back, stepped up and supported me.
So 2016 is done ! New year new outlook. I have had a lot of counselling and have become aware that my situation is not going to change unless I change it. This requires me to change the way I view things.
I now need to look at the world differently and I’m sure many of you are or will need to change your view point. Know you are not alone.
Did you know:
Fibro was first discovered in the 1820s.. Under the name of fibrosis.
1904 – Sir William Gowers coined the term fibrositis (literally meaning inflammation of fibers) to denote the tender points found in patients with muscular rheumatism. 1972 – Dr. Hugh Smythe laid the foundation for the modern definition of fibromyalgia by describing widespread pain and tender points.
It was renamed Fibromyalgia 1976
And it was in 1990 it had its own guidelines for diagnosing.
And the first treatment to try and combat the symptoms for it wasn’t until 2007.
I tried to post this last night but I wouldn’t post so here goes.
2016, you have got to be the worst year I’ve ever had. You succeeded in bringing me to my knees on a couple of occasions. You placed me in a pit of utter despair. Truly you have tested me to my limit, and very, very nearly broke me. I said NEARLY.
I actually have to thank you destpite all of the above. You’ve shown me the sheer depth of my inner resilience and shown me true friendship from the people who stuck around to help me.
In some way or another this year, we have all been warriors and why? We’ve simply had to be.
So, you pile of complete shit of a year, thank you for every personal lesson. Thank you for the people I love the most and thank you for showing me my true, completely & utterly fierce strength.
Now, piss off 2016
Happy New Year All xx